


Fault

by Semi_problematic



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Fights, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 13:05:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14333064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: It was Ricks fault. A father's job was to love and protect and watch over his child. Rick had never done that. Carl was his own father, teaching himself to man up and fight and make his own choices. Rick could have kept him in Alexandira the day he got bit, have stricter rules and have Carl watch over his sister. He would have never left if he was with Judith. Rick could have went with him or invited the man to join, stopping Carl from going out and finding the man once more. But the ere were no more "coulds". Carl was dead and it was his father's fault. Not that Rick was a very good father begin with.





	Fault

His people were silent as he drove out of Alexandira. It was the first time in a very long time that Negan had left alone. What he was doing had to be done alone, though. It was between Rick and him. No one else. No guns. No weapons. No people fighting. Just silence. He was going to make Rick see the truth. Rick had spent too long being blind and Negan was tired of it. If he had to face the harsh truth, so did Rick. He wasn't allowed to have the privilege of being blind anymore.

Carl had been dead for three weeks. Rotting. Starving. Groaning. Negan almost wished that he had never met the kid that way he could just kill him. Beat him in the head with a bat. Stab him in the head. Shoot him. Anything. But Negan cared and Negan was desperate and alone and he never knew how sane Carl had kept him until all Carl could do was groan and stumble towards anything with a heart beat. 

It was Ricks fault. A father's job was to love and protect and watch over his child. Rick had never done that. Carl was his own father, teaching himself to man up and fight and make his own choices. Rick could have kept him in Alexandira the day he got bit, have stricter rules and have Carl watch over his sister. He would have never left if he was with Judith. Rick could have went with him or invited the man to join, stopping Carl from going out and finding the man once more. But the ere were no more "coulds". Carl was dead and it was his father's fault. Not that Rick was a very good father begin with. 

Negan looked in rearview mirror, sighing. Carl was hunched over in the back, tearing apart the remains of an assortment of dead animals. It was the only way to get Carl into the car. The kid was stubborn even when hes dead. He turned back to the road and looked at the zombies that littered the sides of the road. It was impossible to think that Carl was the same as those things. They were nothing alike. Carl wasn't a monster. He wasn't a killer and he wasn't another piece to the world falling apart. Carl made the world, he just had to leave it before everyone else. 

"Your dad is gonna be happy to see you. So happy he'll get on his knees and thank me." Pale, torn up fingers pushed through the bars that separated the front of the car and the back. The fingers curled around the bars and yanked. Carl growled behind him. "You finish up everything?" He laughed. "Don't get too full..." He tightened his grip on the wheel. "You'll be eating more soon." 

The ride was long. About an hour and a half filled with Carl thudding around in the back and groaning. Blood smeared across the back and of the car and across the bars near Negans face. It made him feel sick. Not the blood, but what created blood. Carl. His Carl had torn up all of those animals and eaten them. It was scary, seeing what the boy had become. He was bit saving someone and now he's the reason people need to be saved. No. Carl isn't bad. Carl isn't like the other zombies. Negan shook his head in an attempt to get the thoughts out of his head. 

The sun began to set, different colors painting themselves across the sky. Negan hated it. They were beautiful. He didn't believe that beauty should live on without Carl. Carl was the only one who adored it. The stars and the planets. The rain and the sunsets. The sunrises and the rainbows. He saw beauty in everything and he admired it. Without Carl there was no beauty in everything. He was why they were beautiful. His love made it beautiful. Nothing would ever be beautiful without Carl. Nothing. 

Carl was getting impatient in the back. Clawing at the doors. Yanking at the bars. Slamming onto all of the walls. He was going to be riled up by the time Negan opened the back and let him out. It was going to be perfect. Rick could see what he turned Carl into. Not a man. Not a fighter. But a brain dead zombie who wanted nothing more than to sink his teeth into anything that moved. Rick did this. Rick ruined his son. Rick ruined the one good thing left in this god awful world. And Negan was going to make sure Rick had the image of what he did burned into his brain. 

A few walkers were scattered around the fence of Alexandria. Clawing at the metal and banging against it. Negan made a mental note to be as loud as he could to attract them into the gates. Negan parked the car and shut it off, leaving the keys in the ignition. He climbed out of the car, leaving the door open. 

"I come in peace." Negan laughed. The people who stood at the top of the gates turned to each other and whispered as if Negan being their biggest threat was a secret. He leaned against the truck, chewing on his bottom lip. "I just wanna talk to the man in charge!" He turned around and held both of his arms out. "No more cars. No one hiding in the woods... just me." He smiled. "And when have I ever lied to you guys? You've helped me. You've kept my people fed." 

"Shut it!" A small girl yelled. She had her gun aimed at Negan. Her long brown hair blew behind her back but she didn't move. "Tell Rick that he's here. He can decide if he wants to see his asshole!" 

"Enid." The widow shouted. "You need to be polite. He's still..." She trailed off, looking down behind the gates. She tucked her hair behind her ear and shook her head. 

"Come on, darling. You're my favorite." Negan walked towards the gate. "I love my girls depressed and lonely." He chuckled at the glare she shot him. Maybe when he finally ended Rick and his people she could be one of his wives. "Say those three words daddy loves to hear." He raised his eyebrows and leaned against the hood once more. Slowly, he crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm waiting." 

The widow clenched her jaw, closing her eyes tight. "He's in charge." She flashed him a smile. If looks could kill Negan would be dead right now. She picked up her walkie talkie and switched it on. "Bring Rick up. Negans here." 

Within seconds someone replied. "He's on his way. I'm with him." Must have been the lady Rick always has with him. The woman with the katana. Negan didn't want her as one of his wives, though, she would never accept that. Instead Negan wanted her as one of his soldiers. That woman could fight. He needed more people like that, people who were willing to tear the world apart before building it back up. 

"I'm excited. It's been a long time since Rick and I have been able to..." He tilted his head to the side, pretending to think. "Talk." He walked towards the back of his car, holding his hands up. "Don't shoot me, I'm not pulling out anything bad. In fact, I think Rick wants to see what I got." He ripped open the back of the truck, grabbing onto the chain that was connected to a collar that was wrapped around Carls neck. He twisted the chain around his hand a few times before walking towards Carl. 

Carl eye locked on him and he stumbled his way towards Negan, groaning and clawing at him. Negan put his hands out in front of him before pushing the chain into Carls mouth and wrapping it around his head once. Carl clawed at his leather jacket, smearing blood across it, mirroring the walls of the truck. 

Negan chuckled, shaking his head. "I know, I know, you love me." He ran his fingers through Carls hair and kissed his forehead, wrapping his arms around him. He hugged Carl tight, making sure to keep his hold on the chain so Carl couldn't get out of the grip and bite him. He pulled away, grinning when he heard the gates opening. "Ready to go see your dad?" Carl only grunted in reply, chewing at the chains. 

"What do you want?" Rick yelled. Negan could hear Rick pulling out his gun and the woman drawing her katana. "I thought you weren't coming back for another week. Giving us time to... what did you say... oh, giving us time so we don't disappoint you again." 

Negan pulled the chain out of Carls mouth and stepped out of the truck, walking towards Rick. "Not here for a pick up, don't worry. I came... with gifts." He smiled. He walked towards Rick, Carl stumbling being him. Negan was all but dragging the kid. "Your boy... he missed you a lot and I thought it was only fit that he come and see you. Show you how much he's changed." Negan dropped the chains and walked around the hood of the car, watching Carl stumble towards Rick, tripping over his own feet. 

Rick stared. The woman he was with did, too. The widow and the young girl were silent, grabbing onto the tops of the walls in order to hold themselves up. Carls groans seemed much louder without anyone else talking. His head tilted and twisted in unnatural ways as his arms swayed at his sides. He tripped over his feet, falling onto the ground. Carl squirmed around, never turning away from Rick. Part of Negan thought Carl could remember them. It felt like he remembered Negan with the way he grabbed at him. Or maybe Negan was just desperate to feel important. 

"Carl..." Rick sounded broken. More broken than he did the night Negan killed his friends. More broken than the times Negan visited and took everything they had and then some. More broken than he did when Carl said Negan wasn't all bad. That no one was 100% bad. "Carl... oh my god, my boy.." 

"Rick." The katana woman stood beside him. She was in shock but now she seemed emotionless. No fear. No sadness. No anger. "Rick, that's not him anymore. He's... Rick, hes gone." She grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "We need to get inside. You're going to attract more of them if you don't stop." She grabbed his face and made him look at her. "Rick. That's not our Carl anymore. He's gone, Rick, you're putting all of us in danger-"

Rick jerked away from her, shaking his head. His sobs were causing his body to shake and the way he walked almost mirrored Carls stumbles. "That's my boy, Michonne." That was her name. "That's my son and I promised to never leave him..." He reached out for Carl, arms shaking. "Carl... god... what happened? God." He rubbed at his eyes. He must believe this was a dream. That's how Negan reacted at first. 

"You happened." Negan shouted. "You. You let him leave these walls. You let him go out alone. You didn't protect him, Rick." He laughed. "He died saving people. Saving people that you refused to save. You being a stubborn asshole cost your son his life!" Ricks sobs almost drowned out Carls groans. "Take a good look, Rick. You made this happen. You could have saved him, but you didn't. He was bit when he left. He didn't want you to feel bad.." He shook his head. "Carl was much more forgiving than I am." 

Rick stopped to his knees, shaking his head. "I'm sorry..." It was pathetic. Rick Grimes was pathetic, but that was nothing new. "I'm so sorry... my boy..." He reached for Carl when Carl finally walked up to him. Carl dropped to his knees, grabbing and tearing Ricks shirt. "Carl.." Rick cupped his cheeks. Not to stop him but to comfort him. "It's okay, it's okay, I got you now..." Rick may be crazier than Negan. "I love you, I love you so much, son. You're so strong... so brave..." His sobs grew louder. "I'm so sorry... you... I wanted to give you the new world... let you see it... let you build it." Rick was weak. Weak and pathetic. 

Carl was on top of him now and Rick wasn't pulling him away. Rick was holding him. Rubbing his back and his head and mumbling incoherently. He was still crying, so were the women watching it all go down. Michonne stood silently, watching. There was fear in her eyes now. Probably because she could accept Carl being dead, but not Carl hurting Rick.

"Rick." She finally spoke. "Please. This isn't Carl, by the looks of it this hasn't been Carl in a very long time. He's gone, I know it hurts, it hurts so bad, you feel it in your bones but you can't... you can't let this break you, you have Judith, you have all of your people, Rick-" 

Ricks screams cut Michonne off. Carl had bit his shoulder, blood coating both of their faces. Rick was still holding him, not pushing. Not hitting. Just screaming in pain and holding his son. As if Carl needed the comforting. "It's okay.." Rick whispered through gritted teeth. "It's okay... I love you, its okay..." Flesh hung from Carls teeth as Rick cupped his cheeks and looked up at him. "I love you, I love you, I love you." It sounded more like an apology than a declaration of love. 

Michonne gripped her katana, stabbing Carl through the temple. The silver metal now coated in blood poked out of the other side of his head. Carl stopped moving, falling down onto Rick, laying there. Rick sobbed against Carls body. Maybe crying for Carl or crying for himself. Maybe both. Carl was dead. Officially. 

Negan shoved himself off of the car. "You son of a bitch!" He pulled out his gun, shooting at Michonne without thinking. "You bitch! You killed him! You killed him! I have every right to kill you, you bitch!" Michonne dodged the bullets, twisting and turning with her sword above her head. Negan kicked her in the stomach, putting his foot on her stomach. He aimed the gun at her. "If he can't be alive, none of you can." He laughed. "He was the one thing stopping me." 

Michonne stared at him before smiling. She twisted and hooked her leg around Negans legs, knocking him backwards. "Now I'm stopping you!" She stood up and pointed the tip of her sword only inches from Negans eye. "You won't kill us. I won't allow it." She smiled at him. "Now, look, I don't know how to felt about Carl, but you need to remember that you're a sack of shit and you killed his friends. He didn't love you. He was confused. And kind, that boy was kind, and you took advantage of it."

"I loved him!" Negan screamed. "I loved him and you killed him!" Michonne slammed the heel of her boot down on Negans wrist, knocking the gun from his hands.

"And he pitied you." She licked her lips and lowered the sword so the tip was closer to his eye. Blood dripped onto Negans face. Stale blood. Carls blood. His boys blood. "And you know what I think? I think you came here hoping we would kill you because you're too much of a coward to do it yourself."

Negan blinked away the blood and squirmed beneath it as more dripped across your face. "Do it." He breathed out. His voice was wavering. "Please..." 

"No." Michonne laughed, shaking her head. "If I have to live without him, so do you." Then she was off of him. The gates closed, blocking out the view of Carl laying on top of his father. Blocking out the view of Carls old home. Blocking out the view of it all. 

Negan laid there. He breathed. He blinked. He existed. Then groans began to fill the air. It must be a herd. Negan didn't move.


End file.
